A Year Of Taking Detours

As I am closing in on a year of living in NYC, I have been spending alot of time reflecting on this past year and asking myself if I have made achievements. But, to even answer that question, I had to then ask myself, "WHAT is an achievement, and HOW do you measure success?" Does the fact that I'm not on Broadway yet make me a failure? Or does the fact that I'm not on Broadway yet and I haven't packed my bags to flee back to everything that I know make me a success? Most of society measures achievement and success by monetary gain. The more money you make, the more successful you are. But, what if you're making alot of money and not happy? What if you're on a year's tour of WEST SIDE STORY and understudying the lead role and making alot of money and crying every week? When I look back on that period of my life and career with a more objective insight, I still believe that leaving the show was one of the best decisions I've ever made. So, if money and career success doesn't necessarily make you happy, HOW do you measure achievement?

I asked myself during my reflection: "Why did I move to NY, and what do I want to achieve?" Well, that's easy. I want to be on Broadway. That's it. That's all I really wanted. I don't even need to be featured or anything, I just want to make it into a Broadway show. Not too much to ask, right? But, a year after moving to NY, I'm not on Broadway. Dammit. "Failure," I say to myself. Big F-minus. But, hang on a second...I'm...happy. Like, really really really happy. I feel empowered. I feel in control. I feel like yelling "IT'S GOOD TO BE ALIVE!!!!" So...HOW, can I possibly be a failure??

I asked myself this over and over, and while I was doing so, heard a quote in a movie trailer -- "Life is about taking detours." And you know when something just clicks? I have been playing that idea over and over in my head for the past 2 weeks. I came to NY to be on Broadway. Full stop. One clear path that was arrow-straight. Then, kicking and screaming, I was forced to take detours from this path.

I met a man. WHAT??!! I didn't ask for that, I didn't want that, so how dare the Universe make our paths cross. Then that man broke my heart. DOUBLE WHAT??!! And so there I was, left with a shattered heart and still not on Broadway, probably because I spent too much time focusing on being happy with someone. How stupid of me, and of course I'm back at the beginning. BUT. WAIT. Since that whole ridiculous rigmarole, I have had this tiny little voice in my head saying again and again..."I wanna get married I wanna get married I wanna get married I wanna get married..." Ummmmmmmmmmm, when did THAT happen? I was NEVER going to get married. Never never never never. Then life threw me a road-block and I had to take a detour and I finally found my way back onto the path, and, oh my Lord, I can't wait to get married. This is MAJOR. I have learned so much about the kind of partner I would like to be and the kind of partner I would like to have. No settling! That's why my next beau only lasted 3 months before he got kicked to the curb! I have never dumped anyone in my life! Which means I'm learning. I'm learning alot. I guess that detour was worth it.

But, anyway, back to the path to Broadway. I took a couple of "survival" jobs to, you know, pay my rent and bills. "Just a means to an end," I thought. I didn't plan on meeting the most incredible people at Pure Dark, the chocolate shop that I work in. I was desperately searching for a support network here, then a few months into working at Pure dark, I realized that I had one. My colleagues are so funny, and talented, and generous, and we are from all walks of life, but together, we just fit. It's actually very beautiful. I work with artists from the Fashion Institute of Technology, and a couple of guys from the Culinary Institute of America, and a Jewish playwright; a mix of people who laugh together until sometimes we cry. Some of my happiest moments in the past year have been with my Pure Dark family. There was this time that I went out on a date after work and they all text me to ask how it was going and begged me to meet them after the date was over to share the details. So I met them and we drank and ate pizza and I told them that my date was awesome, and they were genuinely happy for me. Genuine -- not something I see in NYC often, but my friends at Pure Dark have it by the bucket-load. Once in awhile we even have Pure Dark outings, and we spent one night eating at St. Mark's place then going from frozen yogurt shops to ice cream shops and stuffing ourselves. Another outing brought us to Christopher St. Pier where we had a wonderful picnic complete with homemade pasta and macaroons! Ah, these are the moments for which I am joyous and grateful. I'll look back on this one day and say, "remember when I had to take a survival job, and it turned out to be the happiest job in NYC?" Our Pure Dark motto -- "I'm hanging out with chocolate; how bad could I possibly be?!" AMEN.

I also teach dance, and we just had our last class of the school semester. I can't tell you how much I beamed with pride at my girls when I watched them complete clean pirouettes. They started out the semester barely being able to hold the pirouette position without turning, and I must admit that I thought it was a hopeless battle. But, as a teacher, you don't give up on your kids, and you push them even when they complain, and then something amazing happens -- they start to improve and they start to believe in themselves and they manage to pirouette, much to their own joy! Okay, I admit it, this hasn't been a bad detour either. If I'd gone straight to Broadway, I would have never known my friends from Pure Dark, and I would not have been able to watch my kids succeed. I would not trade such things.

So, I'm still not on Broadway. But I'm still HERE. And I'm here with more confidence and more fire. Yet, I don't want to be someone who is so determined to "make it" that they forget to live. There is so much more to life than Broadway. I've cried until I ran out of toilet paper to wipe my tears and I've laughed until a little bit of wee came out. It's good to be alive! A lovely man said to me recently: "I have a crush on you because when you smile, you literally lift the spirit of the room." That's a pretty great thing to be able to do! I'm still smiling (and lifting the spirit of the room) though not sure if I'm back on the path or not. But, it doesn't matter. I'll take a detour. I'll take a hundred detours! Who knows what will be on the other side. My next detour won't be taken with me kicking and screaming; I'll be hopping and skipping!

copyright (c) 2010-2011 Celia Mei Rubin

Happiness In 5 Mouthfuls

I’m a foodie. We all know that. I’ve been in NYC almost a *gulp* year, and one of my favourite ways to explore the city is by trying out new restaurants. Once in awhile I’ll stumble upon a gem. Here they are -- all of them unique and affordable and highly recommended.

Vietnamese (Thai Son at 89 Baxter St.) -- I was introduced to “Pho” by my parents in Paris, which has a wonderful “Little Vietnam.” Pho is: Vietnamese beef and noodle soup served with beansprouts, basil leaves, and coriander leaves on the side. The beef is usually rare upon serving, and you add the vegetables to your liking. I always order my pho to include tendon and tripe! I fell in love with this dish immediately, and on every subsequent trip to Paris, we had pho at least twice. When I first moved to NYC, I noticed with excitement that Chinatown was full of Vietnamese restaurants, which were extremely elusive in London’s tiny Chinatown. I tried a couple of places suggested by my “Not For Tourists” guide book (which is totally out of character, because as a well-traveled foodie, my experiences have shown me that most restaurant recommendations in guide books cater to the western palates of most tourists, not the refined palate of someone who grew up in Singapore eating a huge variety of ethnics food and whose home-cooked meals consisted only of made-from-scratch recipes because my mother refused to use any ingredient that wasn’t fresh). That was a long digression. Anyway, not being enamored with the pho in either of my guidebook recommendations, I took myself into a place called Thai Son. I picked Thai Son because I liked the street where it’s located -- it’s out of the way of a lot of the noise, hustle, and dare I say, stench of most of Chinatown. To my delight, the pho in Thai Son was large and delicious. For $4.95 (though I think this may have gone up a tad), it’s a brilliant deal (even my dad, who will go to 3 grocery shops just to compare the price of milk thought it was a brilliant deal when I brought my family for pho) as the bowl of soup is huge, and it is packed with meat and noodles. I also had, for the first time in my life, Ume soda. Ume is actually a Japanese pickled plum, and I love to snack on it when I have my salty cravings. In Thai Son, they serve "salty plum soda" -- ume with soda water and some sugar for a fizzy, sour kick of a drink. Gorgeous! If you actually are inspired to venture to Thai Son for some pho, step across the street to the Malaysian restaurant (I can’t remember the name of it, but it’s literally across the street) for some bubur cha cha (sweet yam soup) and pulut hitam (coconut sticky rice). Both are yummy traditional Malaysian desserts.

Turkish (Turkuaz at 2637 Broadway) -- Turkuaz is located on the UWS, and I was walking home one day from Harlem really really really in need of some fresh greens. It was a beautiful sunny day and Turkuaz had outside seating that looked incredibly peaceful. I ordered their "green salad" (Yesil Salata) which wasn't green at all as it came with carrots and tomatoes, and it was HUGE!!!! I'm not a big fan of salad dressings. I like a nice extra-virgin olive oil and a sprinkle of salt, which is exactly how Turkuaz served the salad, also adding a delightful spritz of lemon. It was so healthy and so delicious. I've been back a handful of times (unfortunately not in awhile as I moved away from the UWS a few months ago) and have had their calve’s liver and spinach pie, both of which were delicious. They also serve a large basket of complimentary pita, which was always soft and just out of the oven and incredibly tasty. So if you're ever in the mood for a delicious salad -- for $7.25 you can fill up on all 5 of your recommended fruit/veggie servings for the day, and a bit of free bread will top up those energy levels.

Tea House (Radiance Tea House & Books at 158 West 55th St.) -- My favourite spot to bring friends or to chill out after a dance class or to sit and read a book is Radiance Tea House. See my bog titled "An Afternoon Tea Chapter." It's a blog about my love affair with Radiance. In it, I've already written so much about Radiance, that I won't add much more here. I'll just say that I ALWAYS order the summer chicken noodle, and at the moment they have two amazing specials for dessert -- steamed black coconut rice and sesame mochi soup. If you visit radiance soon, (please do, you'll be so delighted), try one of these, if not both! And tell Dan (the really friendly Asian manager) that Celia sent you! Almost all the people that I've introduced to Radiance have in turn brought others there. It's a real gem of a place.

Prune at 54 East 1st St -- There is a restaurant called Prune on the LES. It's not really ethnic, but with dishes such as "roasted marrow bones" and "braised tongue omelette," it's not exactly run-of-the-mill cuisine either. My fabulous cousin took me to Prune for the first birthday I had upon moving back to NY. I had heard of their bone marrow and had been eager to try it for awhile. (Yes, I love gizzards, hearts, livers, and MARROW. My mom makes a kick-ass gizzard stew complete with all of the above.) I had no idea what to expect, and out came 3 gigantic bones -- like the size of my fists -- that had been sliced open, so that the marrow was sitting in the hollows, waiting to be scooped out and swallowed up. Oh my goodness, it was DIVINE. Even my cousin swooned over it. We also had the grilled whole fish which was cooked to perfection . This place is tiny and has one of the most interesting menus I’ve encountered, so it’s a novelty and reservations are highly highly recommended.

Senegalese (La Galette Café at 177th East 100th St.) -- The same cousin that I mention above also introduced me to this awesome Senegalese restaurant, La Galette, on the UES. If you visit, be prepared to wait, not for a seat, but the service is soooooooo slow. However, they are as friendly as they are slow, and the food always comes out piping hot, so if you have to wait for the freshest, best quality dishes, so be it. My favourite meat is lamb, and I daresay that La Galette has the best lamb I have EVER had (my parents and sister disagree, but I am proclaiming it as my favourite lamb ever). I’m not sure what it’s called but if you go and want to try it, just make sure you order the lamb shank that comes ON THE BONE. We have also had a shrimp curry, a fish dish, and a chicken dish there. I’m currently looking at their menu online, and I can’t remember which exact dishes I’ve had, but I don’t think you can go wrong here. It’s a warm, family-run atmosphere, and the food is always so tasty and satisfying.

Dim Sum/Congee (Jing Fong at 20 Elizabeth St.) -- The best place to eat dim sum in NYC is Jing Fong. Just take my word for it. You enter via a long escalator into a massive room that is as big as the ballroom of a hotel, 95% percent of the diners are Chinese, and the wait-staff are rolling neverending carts through the aisles with neverending choices of dumplings. The second you sit down, they swarm you with their carts and you are overwhelmed with having to choose what you want. I went there once with a friend and we stuffed our faces until we couldn’t breathe, and the bill came to no more than $20.00 including tip. It’s truly an experience that is fun, fascinating, and delicious. Around the corner from Jing Fong is a place called Congee (98 Bowery). “Congee” is a Asian savory rice porridge dish. The Congee restaurant on Bowery has a huge list of congees with different meat/fish/vegetable ingredients. I always have the sliced fish and liver congee, and I once took a friend who had the snail and frogs’ legs congee. But if you don’t want something so adventurous, there are congees that just have chicken or vegetables. On the table is chili oil, and if you like a bit of spice, add some into your congee for a scrumptious kick! For dessert, head over to Dragonland Bakery (125 Walker St.) and have their vanilla bun for $1. It’s happiness in 5 mouthfuls.

Outrageous Japanese (Kenka at 25 St. Mark’s Place) -- Pretty much anything on St. Mark’s Place between 2nd and 3rd Aves is going to be outrageous, and Kenka is no exception. They have the traditional Japanese dishes, and then they have dishes like -- “fried frog,” “bull’s penis,” and a spicy “jungle curry” that you get for free if you can finish it in like 5 minutes or something. One of my discoveries since moving to NYC is “Toro,” which is raw tuna belly. While most restaurants serve this delicacy at $8 for a single piece, Kenka serves it at $8 for 4 large pieces that were really delicious. I also had a “Japanese hot-pot” that came as a soup with lots of things that I didn’t recognise, and as I kept pulling bits out of the soup, my friends would keep saying, “woah, what IS that???” Whatever it was, it was mighty tasty. Most dishes are below $10, and they do great deals on drinks. At the end of the meal, they give you tiny cups of sugar that you pour into their cotton candy machine, so that you can make your own complimentary bunch of cotton candy!

So that’s what's on my list of top ethnic restaurants so far. As I keep finding new places, I’m sure this list will grow. What has evaded me so far though is a great Indian curry house. I’ve been to a handful of recommended places, and I cannot find one that is on a par with the fantastic curry houses in London. So any more recommendations are more than welcome! HAPPY EATING!!!

copyright (c) 2010-2011 Celia Mei Rubin