Solid, true friendship really does last the tests of time and distance. It's pretty awesome to look back on a decade (or more) of close friendships and the memories that they have brought. It's even more awesome to meet close friends now, seeing that they have achieved the things that they set out to achieve. Whether it be booking jobs, becoming a parent, or travelling the world, my friends are living the lives that they planned for themselves. I know this, because I was there during the inception of their many dreams. I was in the college singing class witnessing beakthroughs in vocal techniques, when we all fantasized that these baby steps would lead to a professional contract. I was there for the end of many a relationship when we all believed that it was for the best (which, it always was, as marriages and engagements to the right partners have proven). I was on the other end of the phone many a time, freaking out that someone had just booked the contract of their dreams. I think about the shows that I have travelled to see, the weddings I have attended, the offspring that I have met, and I feel a warm sense of pride for my friends.
I never worry that living across an ocean would weaken the bonds. In the age of social networking, it is incredibly easy to keep in touch with people and keep up to date on each other's lives. I couldn't make the wedding of my friend, Jo, who graciously told me, "it's only a day, and we will be friends forever!"
My dad asked me the other day if, now that I have lived outside of the U.K. for 3 years, it still feels worth the effort to come back and see old friends, and I responded with a stoic, "absolutely." Being with old friends who knew you before you truly became an adult, before you achieved your biggest dreams, it's like coming home. There is no standing on ceremony or walking on eggshells. There is no need to stroke each other's egos. Long-term friendship breeds honesty, respect, comfort, and love. It is a reminder of who you truly are, without the pressure of having to be anything different. You can speak candidly and openly about any subject, and boy, can you laugh. Laughter between old friends; that unabashed, unhindered guffaw: is it not the best kind of laughter? Most of all, it is an acceptance of each other which has lasted over the years. We all have our flaws, and we have all pissed each other off. I remember having an argument with my best friend, Mark, during the year on tour when we first met in 2004, and I yelled at him in front of other colleagues, "YOU MAKE ME FEEL THIS BIG!" as I held my fingers up to indicate a tiny size. We didn't speak for a few days. When I saw Mark a couple of days ago, we reminisced, and couldn't even remember why we were arguing. These things happen. The important thing is that, when these situations arise, good friends realise that the friendship itself is worth more than a petty argument, or a petty flaw in the other person that irks us. And, thank goodness for that, because I am most definitely a culprit of irking others with my strange ways.
I like to think of myself as someone who is pretty good at bringing people together. When I was still living in London in 2007, I went to NY in the summer and organised a big summer-camp reunion. The last year I was at summer camp was 2000, and I had managed to stay close with most of my camp friends. I had numerous people come to me during the reunion to say that they hadn't seen each other in years, and it was because of me that we were all together again. I even had someone say to me, "I left the house because you!" It was a nice thing to hear.
I have always been good at friendship. That is not to say that it comes easily; the art of friendship requires a good effort. If I care about someone, I will be one of the first people in line to buy a ticket to their show. I will be straight on the phone calling them if I've heard through the grapevine that something is amiss. I will cross an ocean to see them (time and money permitting). This trip back, I'm managing to see almost everyone who is most important to me. Most of them have already met each other in the past, or at least know of each other. As I said, I am good at bringing people together. I saw one of my friends comment on another of my friend's Facebook wall recently, and I wrote, "how do you two know each other???" I then had to go back and write, "Oh, you know each other through ME!" I had completely forgotten that I had introduced them.
It has been wonderful to reconnect with people, as if no time has passed. We are the same, but different. Mark joked to me the other day, that, while everyone else is getting fatter with age, he and I are getting skinnier. We had a right giggle about that, and I have to say, that all my friends are looking fantastic. Everyone is in great shape and wrinkle free! We are coming into our 30s, and even with so much happiness already, I feel that the best is yet to come for everyone.
I am a Libra who was born in the year of the dog. Librans are responsible for bringing people together; we are the communicators. Dog is man's loyal best friend. Thus, I'm a dog who seeks to unite. Unless I dislike you. Then I will pee on your foot.
