Though I am well travelled within Europe, having spent much time specifically in France, Spain, and Italy, I am far less acquainted with the United States of America. I have lived in Westchester, NY, and, though a ship is currently my home, I pay rent on an apartment in Hoboken, NJ. I have stayed with friends in LA, celebrated many Passovers in Miami, shot a commercial in Baltimore, slept over at a summer camp friend's house in Connecticut, skiied in Vermont, vacationed in Hawaii with my parents, and spent one Christmas with my ex's family in Philly. Most of the people I regularly spend time with are either Long Island Jews, Westchester Jews, or born and bred New York City Jews. With the odd Goyim* from some state not on the East coast or West coast of America. This is vastly different to my social network in London, where I had a couple of handfuls of friends from various parts of Asia, a couple of best friends from Northern Ireland, and a whole bunch of friends from places that sound very English -- Yorkshire, Lincolnshire, and Wimbledon, for instance. And none of them a Jew.
When I left New York to work on a ship, I once again became the sole Jew among a huge diversity of colleagues that includes Brits, Aussies, Yankees, Europeans, and Asians. I spend alot of time with an ex-Mormon from Indiana called Dan** who, within the first five minutes of our meeting, told me that he comes from a family of Rednecks. Those were his words, not mine. In all the friendships that I have made, I have never become friends with someone who openly refers to themself as a Redneck, and I don't believe that I have ever met someone from Indiana. (I have met quite a few Mormons, though.) I don't know anything about Indiana, except what I've heard from Dan. He knows alot about corn and how to shuck it. He comes from a family who lives from paycheck to paycheck and has constantly referred to himself as someone who is trying to grow up and out of this world of Rednecks.
I challenged Dan about the use of the term "Redneck." It is a term that, in my interpretation, has negative connotations: no class, bad morals, unintelligent. These are the first things that come to mind when I hear the term, "Redneck." I knew within the first five minutes of meeting Dan that he is none of these. And if he is none of these, I would assume that he was raised by people who are also none of these. "My family is poor," Dan answered when I challenged him. Poverty does not equate to having no class, just as richness does not equate to having class. "There are plenty of people with alot of money with no class," I said to Dan. We discussed this notion, and came to the joint conclusion that Dan's family may not have alot of money, but they are a good family with good values and therefore, they are not Rednecks. As I have come to know Dan more, it is clear that there is much love in his family, and in my unwavering opinion, if you come from a family with strong love, you are already starting out on the right foot to wherever you want to go. Let me be rich in love over having richness in gold any day.
This boy from Indiana, he refers to America as, "THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!" Underneath the joking nature in which he makes this proclamation, there is a strong patriotism. On New Year's Eve, he proudly sang the national anthem acapella in the piano bar onboard. Well, I couldn't wait for Dan, who had never been outside the United States, to experience the Mediterranean. He was not as impressed as I had hoped he'd be, but this may be justified as we didn't get many opportunities to see anything that wasn't a heaving tourist attraction. Every time we had pizza, Dan enjoyed it, but kept saying how much he missed Chicago's deep dish pizza. Every time we went out in port and things were closed, Dan said he missed the ease and accessibility of the American way of life. I personally feel that this accessibility is having severe repercussions on the nation, but that is another discussion altogether. I wish Dan had experienced Europe in its true form, not the form as built by tourism. I wish we could have gone to a small Italian village where no one speaks English and had some homemade focaccia while walking around the local street fair then finish of the day with gelato. Nonetheless, it was fun watching Dan drink a decent cup of coffee! I think the coffee in Europe is the one thing he prefers outside of the States.
Dan and I have both taken to getting regular massages on the ship. Massages are my vice, and I have been having regular massages for years. I would never have expected a self-titled Redneck to also take to this habit. But, Dan did, and when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said (and this is verbatim): "just a simple hot stone massage." I replied, "WHAT? Did you just hear yourself?! A dude who comes from Indiana, who calls himself a redneck, who lived by poor means, wants 'just a SIMPLE hot stone massage?!'" And we laughed and laughed and laughed, and I was so happy that this small town boy who is trying to make something bigger of his life has been given an opportunity such as this. For Christmas, Dan received a cast iron teaset from his Secret Santa, and I showed him how to steep a perfect pot of oolong tea. As we sat in his cabin sipping oolong, I was proud of Dan, for already being the sort of person he aspires to be, for never shunning his roots, and for serving as a reminder to me that there is always the opportunity to grow, to change, and to learn.
I find it fascinating that an ex-Mormon from Indiana and a Chinese-Jew from London, Singapore, and Westchester can be of such similar ilks. I like to hear of his world, where he would shuck his mom's home grown corn and he likes to hear of my world, where I had learned how to use chopsticks before I had reached double digits in age. We meet somewhere in-between, in a world where we dream just as big as each other. Even though our experiences are vastly different, our dream of making it on Broadway is the same. We are both one step closer, and many cups of European coffee and Taiwanese oolong fuller.
*A non-Jew
**Name has been changed to protect privacy
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