A Sprinkle of Fairydust

In the words of The Who, "I'm FREE! And freedom tastes of reality!!!" I'm in the middle of a 5-week break from the West Side Story tour. I won't sugar-coat my experience with the show thus far; it has been extremely suffocating and at times infuriating and frustrating. My time away from it has re-inforced how much more I prefer living in reality than living in tour-bubble land. I finally feel like the old CMR is coming back. This person I've become, who is constantly unhappy and moaning, I don't even recognise her, and I don't want to be her anymore. But being able to spend time with family and dear friends has planted my feet back firmly on the ground and slowed down the chaos that has plagued my mind for the past few months. I can breathe again, and more importantly, I am not just breathing again, but breathing in wonderful. For me, it is the moments I spend with those dearest to me that are the most important and fulfilling moments of life. Everything else is just living in-between. Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. Which brings me to the point of this note...

In my time off, I have seen many friends in shows and the more I watch these people who I care so much about really living the dream, the more I am feeling an increasing energy and inspiration buzzing inside me. I am part of a huge circle of awesomeness. My friends are taking the world by storm, and I'm a part of that and so incredibly proud. When you have known someone for years, you share your dreams with each other, you talk about what you hope for, you watch each other work and work for those hopes to turn into opportunities, for those opportunities to become achievments. So when I saw Mark, my BFF, play Enjolras in Les Miserable...well, my heart just exploded. When Mark and I were on the Joseph tour (12 shows a week, eeeek!!!) we used to find rehearsal rooms in theatres and sing along to his musical recordings. GEEKS. I'm sure that at one time we sang Marius and Eponine together. So you can imagine how I felt when, a few years and a few shows later, I was sitting in the Queen's Theatre in the West End watching him lead the cast of Les Miserables in a rousing "Do You Hear the People Sing?" So fucking proud babe, so fucking proud.

At college, I directed alot of pieces. I made my friend Robyn (always Kylie to me) wear her hair in pig-tails once and bounce around the stage like a 6-year old for a piece called You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. Bless, her, she did it with full gusto and commitment. I've now seen her play Christine in Phantom of the Opera...a West End leading lady, I mean, I am still in awe!!! Really, there's nothing quite like watching someone you used to do ballet with every morning in college singing "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" on the stage of Her Majesty's Theatre. I directed a dancer called Paul in a cabaret at college and he had never sung before, and when I saw him in Imagine This recently, I sobbed my soul to pieces. I was speechless, I couldn't breathe...lovely, kind, beautiful Paul in an original West End cast. Wow. And Gavin, who has always wanted it soooooooooo much, who is one of the hardest working people I know...MATTHEW BOURNE. Multiple contracts. Enough said!!!!

3 of my best girls, Vicki, Jo, and Jenni, are all on tour together in Witches of Eastwick. I AM SO JEALOUS. I AM SO JEALOUS. I AM SO JEALOUS. Vicki and I were extremely naughty on Guys and Dolls because we were a duo of giggling fits and silly gags...how funny that we have ended up with the responsibilities of dance captain on our respective shows at the same time. I mean, I have a co-dance captain to help shoulder the work load, Vicki has no co-dance captain...she's IT! Respect! When I saw Jo play Jennifer, I had chills and shivers galore! That moment babe, when you get to sing the reprise of "I Wish I May"...Well! That is the stuff dreams are made of! A shining, glorious moment. And you get to do it 8 times a week! Jenni is swinging swinging swinging...that is, if she gets a costume...what the fuck is it with these production companies not providing understudy/swing costumes???!!! But seriously, the show rocks you guys, and it makes me smile that you're all out there spreading the love together. :) Just make sure Vicki never vomits on you...

When I first saw "Avenue Q" on Broadway with the original cast, I walked away with a spring in my step feeling elated. It was one of the most original, inspiring, special things I'd ever seen. I even jogged to the music for months, that's how much it inspired me! It's a show I have always wanted to do since seeing it that first time, so when my fellow ex-Saigon slut from Miss Saigon, Maria, went on for the first time as Yellow Bear/Mrs. Thisletwat, I just HAD to see her! It has been a long time coming for Maria...she's auditioned for the show a gazillion times and it was always a "no," but then finally it was a "yes," and watching her on that stage, in that fantastic show, doing what so many people would love to do (myself included), what a special moment! You made it girl, good things come to those who wait! And good things also come to good people. :) I can't wait to see another Miss Saigon castmate, Kanako, take on a leading role in the much anticipated orginal West End production of Pricilla, Queen of the Desert! Original West End cast baby, original West End cast! Popping ping pong balls out from her....you know! Slowly but surely, we are working our way to more and more exciting things, and it's just wonderful to share it with you.

When my beautiful friend, Zoe, and I were on Guys and Dolls together, we were both offered Parade at the same time, and much to my delight, Zoe turned down another offer from Hairspray to take Parade. Lo and behold, a year and a cast-change later, Zoe is strutting her stuff in Hairspray after all, as Amber Von Tussle. YOU HAVE ACNE OF THE SOUL! Hahahaha. I absolutely can't wait to see it. Jo and Zoe, It's a wonderful and bizarre thing, we're all doing jobs we were absolutely determined to get from the very beginning. Iola, Monteen, and Essie ROCK IT! Factory Girls spread the loooooove!!!

Oh, and a shout out to Dane and Darren on La Cage Aux Folles, who are both UNBELIEVABLE in it. WOW. And to my guru Lara, who is a soon-to-be TV star. You are perhaps most positive of all!!!

Guys, I have such fond memories with all of you...singing at the Olivier Awards, dancing in operas, pole-dancing as whores, getting through a 12-show week then going out for crispy chilli beef, performing in cabarets together (Pizza on the Park, Songs For a New World, Weston-Super-Mare, Kid Inside), church research, best of assessments, audition traumas, audition elations, dating truamas, dating elations, bridal shop interviews, mooncup stories, busy bees, casino night with Hello! magazine, noodle dates, Will Ferrell movies...I could go on and on and on.

We have shared alot together and it's wonderful to see you doing all those things we've talked about. Thank you for reminding me that, no matter what bad politics or production values permeate a contract, to be in work on a show that many people want to do is a great achievement, and a job is what you make it, right? I'm sorry I have been so miserable recently, but thanks to you guys, I have rid myself of all that negativity. NO MORE. CMR IS BACK! Because you know what, we really are taking on the world and sprinking fairydust all over the UK. I forgot that I had so much fairydust stashed away, but after seeing you all strut your stuff, I dug deep into my pockets and came out with two whopping handfulls. Keep colouring UK theatre guys...and thanks for adding splashes of bold, bright, beautiful colours to my career. And my life, of course. We're doing it, we're living it! FUCK YEAH! Thank you my angels, I am so so so proud to be a witness to all your great achievements. Continue to dream and achieve...I most certainly will; I know, I BELIEVE that the best is yet to come. :)

Thank you for the inspiration, so much love and respect to you. Here...here's some fairydust!

copyright (c) 2010-2011 Celia Mei Rubin

PARADE: A Reflection

It's just gone midnight -- only a couple of hours after the "Parade" journey ended. We took our final bow (3 encores!) to a full and emotional standing ovation and headed out to the Covent Garden hotel for a glass of champagne, some dim sum, and some birthday dessert for Rob Ashford, our noble leader. (That chocolate cake was DIVINE!!!) I should still be out celebrating, but all I wanted to do was come home, sit by myself, and reflect on what has been, for me, three of the happiest and most rewarding months of my whole life.

Sometimes, if you're lucky enough, the universe smiles down upon you. Call it faith, call it karma, or call it pure luck, but in that one moment, it seems as if everything conspires to come together for you in ways you never even dare to hope. For me, that moment happened when I got the phone call telling me I'd been offered a role in the fothcoming Donmar Warehouse production of "Parade." I was awed, shocked, and disbelieving. I didn't even think I'd get an audition! People like me don't work at the Donmar. That reward is reserved for those of far superior talent and experience. Somehow though, I'd snuck past the Theatre Gods and in that moment, my biggest dreams (the sorts of huge fantasies everyone has but never actually think could ever come true) became a reality. Oh my gosh, I was going to work with my idol and my hero, Mr. Jason Robert Brown! On "PARADE!" At the DONMAR WAREHOUSE! And it was all being led at the helm by Mr. Rob Ashford, a man I wanted to work with desperately after auditioning for him a couple of years previous. I didn't get that job and was GUTTED. Isn't it wonderfully bizarre how life has a way of coming full circle? I guess it's really true that patience is a virtue.

Fast forward to a few months later, and here we are at the end of a glorious run. It has been better than everything I wished for and dreamed about. So so so so special. If you remember any of the following, it means we shared a smile, so I thank you:

-- poo, sex, and food
-- food for thought farts
-- iphone
--"take your top off!"
-- Lara's engagement ring and wedding dress
-- Shaun's engagement
-- pics with Ewan Mcgregor
-- OMG, James Mcavoy is in!!! (Mark should know, he kissed him!)
-- Harry Potter's watching!
-- Kim Catrall giving all the girls a kiss and a hug
-- Steven Page rewriting the lyrics to the opening
-- "Hey!"
-- CHURCH.
-- Matt Lucas is in again????
-- Runners up for best onstage fall: Jo in Tea Dance, Celia in Factory Girls, Steven when his stool collapsed
-- Scrabulous
-- "you made me cry you fuckers" -- Alfred (darling man, our Jewish grandpa)
-- Doughnuts!!!
-- Gary's mom's cakes
-- Bailey
-- Playing with Maddie and Ed Bowman
-- Meeting Molly Brown
-- Watching Stephen Webb get spat on every night by Bertie in "hard to speak my heart" and not flinching once
-- Swing night!
-- Bertie taking his top of at Helen's birthday party
-- Dim sum!
-- Cybercandy
-- Watching Tom Murray make the lovliest faces on the moniters and waving to him even though we KNOW he can't see us
-- JRB in concert
-- Dancing to angry girl music in physical warm up
-- RECORDING THE ALBUM!!!!!
-- Tea Dance ad libs
-- Beat the clock at Belgo's
-- Jo = resident matchmaker
-- Changing Gary's ringtone
-- Changing Stu's laptop wallpaper
-- SHUT UP MAMO! Gypsy Queen!
-- Parade hangman
-- Borough Market
-- Parade VS Hairspray, WSS style!
-- Stephen Webb's truncheon
-- Old soldier's grotto
-- Massages (Mark you still owe me one!)
-- Helen's house almost burning down
-- "your ass is grass!"
-- Stardust the movie
-- "It means whale's vagina" hahahahahahahaha
-- Jo, Celia, and Mark not being able to look at each other in "Flood"
-- Amazing Grace
-- The live sex show (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!)
-- Mooncup!
-- Stephen Sondheim applauding vigorously
-- Backwards monkey
-- Essie's limp
-- Pigeon toed walk
-- "Class"
-- lady's knickers and the lady's bras
-- Chicken and bacon sandwiches
-- Nanny Mcfee

"Parade" has carved it's own special place in my heart and will stay there in it's little cubby hole always. I'm a lucky lucky lady. I'm left feeling a little empty, but I am smiling and grateful that I got to be a part of this extraordinary experience. Thanks for the laughs, and girlies -- never forget our dressing room!!!! I hope my path crosses with all of yours again someday. Wishing everyone the very best for the future.

NOW EVERYONE GO BUY THE CAST RECORDING!

copyright (c) 2010-2011 Celia Mei Rubin